When You Don’t Want Mother’s Day to Come: 4 Ways to Prepare

by | May 6, 2022 | what you can do | 11 comments

photo cred. tears on unsplash

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Countless numbers of moms all over the world don’t want the day to come. I posted this earlier this week, but decided to post it again because moms whose children are troubled: incarcerated, struggle with an addiction, gender issues, or mental illness, or are estranged from them are beyod broken. 

They look fine on the outside, but in reality, they’re hearts are shattered.

The holiday is way too painful. Too hard. Too sad. Too depressing. Is that you? Does Mother’s Day only remind you of  what you’ve lost? Does it throw in your face the shattered dreams and crushed hopes you try to not think about? The day has the power to make a hurting mom’s heart break wide open and bleed.

Let me speak directly to you, dear mom who dreads Mother’s Day. Your heart bleeds because your child’s situation is unresolved; your relationship is nonexitent; you don’t know if they will survive. You have no guarantee when or how their story will end. You feel like your suffering has lasted too long. Enough already. And now you have to face another holiday with a heavy heart.

Not again.

I hope knowing someone understands helps a little.

You are not alone.

There is always hope.

But when your pain is deep please consider these 4 ways to prepare your heart for another hard Mother’s Day.  

4 Ways to Prepare for Mother’s Day

1.Be honest.

Don’t pretend the next time a friend asks, “How are you?” Stop acting like you’re okay saying, “I’m fine”, when you aren’t. Faking fine needs to be left in the past. You’re far from fine. If “fine” was a city in Texas, then you live in Australia. Is that far enough away from Texas? Being honest and real opens the door to receive the help you need. It also invites others to do the same: be honest with their struggles. We all have something in our lives we need help with.

2. Look for a support group.

Make a commitment to get involved: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Families Anonymous and NAMI (for mental health issues); Celebrate Recovery (faith-based coda

photo cred. You-x-ventures on unsplash

groups for the one who struggles plus their family and friends). Other faith based groups: Hope for Hurting Parents, Thrive Family Recovery Resurces, Hurting Moms Mending Hearts. Mental Illness faith-based: Freshhope.us  Whatever your child has a problem with, these are still great groups to be part of. The principles you need to cope are the same when dealing with any issue you have no control over. You can’t change it or fix it. You need the help of others who understand. We can’t say enough good about how much support groups helped us regain our sanity.

3. Talk to trusted friends .

Reach out to those who care about you and your child. Share as much as you’re comfortable with. Tell them you’re hurting and need prayer. Each time you talk about your pain you drain more of it out. So pull the plug and let it go.

4. Fill your mind wtih truth.

There’s nothing like the comfort you can receive from God. The Psalms (in the middle of the Bible) are a great place to start. Here’s a favorite verse of mine:

“If the Lord had not been on our side . . . the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away . . . Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  (Psalm 124:1, 4-5 and 8 NIV)

This week, as you see and hear countless reminders of Mother’s Day on social media, on TV, at the grocery store, etc. if you feel swept away by sadness, refer back to this list. And never forget that God is on your side. He’s in your corner. He won’t let you be overcome. He hurts with  you. He loves and cares about you.

Yes. You.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, you understand a mother’s broken heart. Please comfort every mom who reads this. Surround her with your loving embrace. Dry her tears. Hold her close. Give her hope for a better tonorrow. And thank you that you care. She is not alone. Amen.

***Be watching for another special post that will go live on Mother’s Day.

 

11 Comments

  1. ThornRose7@aol.com

    Thank you Tom and Dena. I so feel this one. Donna

    Reply
    • Tom and Dena Yohe

      We’re so glad you liked it. Thank you for letting us know. God bless you with extra comfort this week.

      Reply
    • Tom and Dena Yohe

      Is this an online magazine? Tell me more about it and the purpose. Sounds really great.

      Reply
      • Tom and Dena Yohe

        I went to your website and read about it. I understand now. I will promote this to my writer’s guild here in central Florida. Is that “south” for your anthology?

        Reply
  2. Sandy Paige

    Thank you so much for this reminder that I am not alone and that many other moms do not look forward to this “holiday” either. And also for the awesome Ps. 124 scripture.

    Reply
    • Tom and Dena Yohe

      You’re welcome, Sandy. Thank you for letting us know it helped you. We pray that you will be comforted on Sunday by the One who understands better than anyone else ever could.

      Reply
  3. Rhonda

    Sweet salve on my soul!! Thank you both for ALL you do!! I hang on every word and feel encouraged by your carefully chosen words! Yes hits home right where it hurts!

    Reply
    • Tom and Dena Yohe

      Thank you Rhonda for your comment. You encourage me too!

      Reply
  4. Joyce

    Thank you for the reminder that I am not alone. This is my first Mother’s Day without my son. They are expecting my first grandchild, and I have been cut out of his life completely. Until he gets help for his bipolar disease, I fear that this will never resolve. I pray daily.

    Reply
    • Tom and Dena Yohe

      Oh Joyce, how painful for you. May God intervene and bring the needed changes so your son will be well and reunite with you. And may your heart be deeply comforted over not being part of their lives as they prepare for the coming of your first grandchild.

      Reply

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