Yesterday was Mother’s Day. The day was wonderful for some moms and terrible for others. Are you one of the “others”? Do you wish you could’ve skipped this holiday? I adopted a few healthy mind-sets for times like this and wrote about them in my book, You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids.
- I can walk this path only one day at a time. It can’t be rushed.
- I must not dwell on the past or regret it. It can’t be changed.
- I must not live in fear or dread of the future. It can’t be controlled.
Control. That’s a difficult and mysterious subject for many Christian parents of troubled kids.
Can We Be Honest?
In our heads we know that God is God and we are not.We really do believe He’s in control over all things–even our mess. He doesn’t owe us an explanation for the mysteries of this world. “Can you fathom the mysteries of God?” (Job 11:7). No, we can’t.
But if we’re really honest, we might think we’ve become entitled. Down deep in our hearts we thought we were exempt from bad things happening to us or to one of our children. We thought we had a free pass from that kind of suffering. I did…It’s as though our heads and our hearts are at war. We know these truths, but do we really believe them?
Rest in His Care
Bottom line, we don’t always know why God allows what He does, nor do we know why He doesn’t always rescue us from the situations we’re in. But we can trust in His “everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3). We can lean on His sovereignty; He is “the blessed and only Ruler., the King of kings and Lord of lords” (I Timothy 6:15). We can rest in His care. We can come to accept unanswered questions and disappointments. Can you? (italics are excerpts from my book, You Are Not Alone)
Acceptance of unanswered questions and disappointments takes time. Much healing is required to get us there. I pray you are on your way, even if your pace is slow. On this kind of journey, slow is normal. 12-step recovery programs have a saying I like: “Normal is just a setting on a dryer”.
This Prayer is for You
I wrote a special Mother’s Day prayer for crushed, disillusioned moms. For those who can’t remember what “normal” is anymore. For those who are barely holding on to their sanity. For those whose sons or daughters are far away from them, “out there”, lost to some kind of addiction (drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, gambling, etc.), who have chosen an alternate life-style. For those whose children can’t stop self-injuring or overcome an eating disorder; stuck in denial, refusing help. Your children have rejected you, your faith, and the values you tried to instill in them. You are devastated and weary.
If you’re one of those moms, you know…you know the pain…the loss…the emotional exhaustion.
Hurting mom, this prayer is for you:
On this day of celebrating mothers, please surround the grieving mom who reads these words with
Your comforting presence. Hold her close to Your heart of compassion.
Console her with Your divine mother-love. Reassure her You are near. Ease her pain. Lessen the ache in her soul.
Creator of motherhood, You are the One who gave this desire to procreate, care for, nurture, and love our offspring unconditionally. You gifted us with the capacity to sacrifice for another’s welfare, no matter how we’re treated in return.
Just. Like. You.
You who wept over Jerusalem, your beloved children, who rejected and refused Your divine love.
You get it.
You understand far more than we could ever realize. You have also tasted the bitter tears of disappointment, betrayal, sadness, and loss. Please dry each one from this mother’s eyes. Rock her gently against Your chest. Press Your cheek against hers. Come in close.
Welcome this grieving, brokenhearted mom as she climbs on Your lap. Sing gentle lullabies over her to sooth, restore, and repair.
Heal her from hopelessness.
Rescue her from despair.
Quiet her with your love.
You are her only hope.
In the name of Jehovah Rophe, the Lord our Healer. Amen.
Encouraging Bible Verses and a Video
These two Bible verses have been a treasured source of comfort for me:
Why are you downcast my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God (Psalms 42:5).
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).
Please click on the link below to WATCH AN AMAZING VIDEO two sisters made in 2012 for their mom on Mother’s Day. What a gift. I think you’ll receive an extra blessing if you make the time. “You are that bump!”
And a few books that help me pray are: (they are all listed on our website on the books page)
- Praying our Prodigal Loved One Home by Pam Lanhart
- Praying Prodigals Home by Sherrer and Garlock
- The Power of a Praying Parent and The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian
Thank you for your continued prayers for hurting parents. You’re an inspiration to many families who don’t know how to have hope. Keep up the good work!
And if I allowed a suv to run over me would that cause him to love me again ???
Although the video was lovely I missed the point of sharing it.
The point, to me, was that all the sacrifices you’ve made and unconditional love you’ve given could make all the difference in your child’s life. Your sacrifices are not for nothing. God saw it all. It mattered to him. And no, it doesn’t guarantee that your son will love you again, but it just might be what God uses to bring him back, and maybe even “save” him. In the end, forgiving love wins. Forgiveness will keep you from becoming bitter, resentful and cynical no matter what happens.
I’m so sorry for how much you’ve been hurt. May God comfort your wounded heart.