Photo cred. Joshua Harris on unsplash

Sunday is Mother’s Day. Countless numbers of moms all over the world don’t want the day to come. Moms whose children are troubled: incarcerated, struggle with an addiction, gender issues, mental illness, or are estranged from them, are beyond broken. 

They look fine on the outside, but in reality, they’re hearts are shattered. There was a time in the past that was me.

This holiday is way too painful. Too hard. Too sad. Too depressing. Is that you? Does Mother’s Day only remind you of  what you’ve lost? Does it throw in your face the shattered dreams and crushed hopes you try to not think about? This day has the power to make a hurting mom’s heart break wide open and bleed.

Let me speak directly to you, dear mom who dreads Mother’s Day. Your heart bleeds because your child’s situation is unresolved; your relationship is nonexitent; you don’t know if they will survive. You have no guarantee when or how their story will end. Your suffering has lasted too long. Enough already. And now you have to face another holiday with a hole in your heart.

Not again.

I hope knowing someone understands helps a little.

Friend, you are not alone.

There is still hope.

But when the pain is deep please consider these 4 ways to prepare your heart for another hard Mother’s Day.  

4 Ways to Prepare for Mother’s Day

1.Be honest.

Don’t pretend the next time a friend asks, “How are you?” Stop acting like you’re okay saying, “I’m fine”, when you aren’t. Faking fine needs to be left in the past. You’re far from fine. If “fine” was a city in Texas, then you must live in Australia. Is that far enough away from Texas? Being honest and real opens the door to receive the help you need. Authenticity also invites others to do the same: To be honest with their struggles. We all have something in our lives we need help with.

2. Look for a support group.

Make a commitment to get involved: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Families Anonymous and NAMI (for mental health issues); Celebrate Recovery (faith-based coda

photo cred. You-x-ventures on unsplash

groups for the one who struggles plus their family and friends). Other faith-based groups: Hope for Hurting Parents, Thrive Family Recovery Resources, Hurting Moms Mending Hearts. Mental Illness faith-based: Freshhope.us  Whatever your child has a problem with, there are great groups to be part of. The principles you need to cope are the same when dealing with any issue you have no control over. You feel alone and guilty. You’re consumed with fear and worry. You can’t change it or fix it. You need the help and companionship of others who understand. We can’t say enough good about the benefits we received from support groups. They helped us regain our sanity and find a healing community.

3. Talk to trusted friends .

Reach out to those who care about you and your child. Share as much as you’re comfortable with. Tell them what you’re going through and need prayer. Each time you talk about your pain you drain more of it out. Take a deep breath, find some courage, and reach out. 

4. Fill your mind with truth.

There’s nothing like the comfort you can receive from God. The Psalms (in the middle of the Bible) are a great place to start. Here’s a favorite of mine:

If the Lord had not been on our side . . . the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away . . . Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 124:1, 4-5 and 8 NIV)

As you see and hear countless reminders of Mother’s Day on social media, TV, shopping in stores, etc. if you feel swept away by sadness, refer back to this list. And never forget that God is on your side. He’s in your corner. He won’t let you be overcome. He hurts with you. He loves and cares about you.

Yes. You.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, you understand a mother’s broken heart. Please comfort the mom who’s reading this. Surround her with your loving embrace. Dry her tears. Hold her close. Give her hope for a better tonorrow. And thank you that you care about her pain. She is not alone. Amen.

***Be watching for another special post on Mother’s Day.