Photo cred. Joshua Harris on unsplash

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Countless numbers of moms all over the world don’t want the day to come. Moms whose children are troubled: incarcerated, struggle with an addiction, gender issues, mental illness, or estranged. 

These women look fine on the outside, but in reality, they’re hearts are shattered. There was a time in the past when I was one of them.

For many mom, this holiday is way too painful. Too hard. Too sad. Too depressing. Is that you? Does Mother’s Day only remind you of what you’ve lost? Does it throw in your face the shattered dreams and crushed hopes you try to not think about? This day has the power to make a hurting heart break wide open and bleed.

Let me speak directly to you, dear mom who dreads Mother’s Day. Your heart bleeds because your child’s situation is unresolved. Your relationship is nonexistent. You don’t know if your child will survive. You have no guarantee when or how their story will end. Your suffering has lasted too long. And now you have to face another holiday with a gaping hole in your heart that nothing can fill.

Not again.

I hope knowing someone understands helps you a little.

Friend, you are not alone.

There is still hope.

Please consider these 4 ways to prepare your heart for another hard Mother’s Day.  

4 Ways to Prepare for Mother’s Day

1.Be honest.

Don’t pretend the next time a friend asks, “How are you?” Stop acting like you’re okay saying, “I’m fine”, when you aren’t. Faking fine needs to be left in the past. You’re far from fine. If “fine” was a city in Texas, then you must live in Australia. Is that far enough away from Texas? Being honest and real opens the door to receive the help you need. Authenticity has a side benefit: it invites others to do the same. To be honest with their struggles. We all have something in our lives we need help with.

2. Look for a support group.

Make a commitment to get involved: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Families Anonymous and NAMI (for mental health issues); Celebrate Recovery (faith-based coda

photo cred. You-x-ventures on unsplash

groups for the one who struggles plus their family and friends). Other faith-based groups: Hope for Hurting Parents, Thrive Family Recovery Resources, Hurting Moms Mending Hearts. Mental Illness faith-based: Freshhope.us  Whatever your child has a problem with, there are great groups to be part of. The principles you need to cope are the same when dealing with any issue you have no control over. You feel alone and guilty. You’re consumed with fear and worry. You can’t change it or fix it. You need the help and companionship of others who understand. We can’t say enough good about the benefits we received from support groups. They helped us regain our sanity and find a healing community.

3. Talk to trusted friends.

Reach out to those who care about you and your child. Share as much as you’re comfortable with. Tell them what you’re going through and how you specifically need prayer. Each time you talk about your pain with someone who cares and listens well, you drain more of it out. Take a deep breath, find some courage, and reach out. 

4. Fill your mind with truth.

There’s nothing like the comfort available to you from God. The Psalms (located in the middle of the Bible – you can even read online) are a great place to find comforting words from God. Here’s a favorite Psalm of mine:

If the Lord had not been on our side . . . the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away . . . Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 124:1, 4-5 and 8 NIV)

As you see and hear countless reminders of Mother’s Day on social media, TV, when you’re shopping in stores, etc. if you feel swept away by sadness, refer back to these comforting verse. And never forget that God is on your side. He’s in your corner. He won’t let you be overcome. He hurts with you. He loves and cares about you.

Yes. You.

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father, you understand a mother’s broken heart. Please comfort every sad mom who reads this. Surround her with Your loving embrace. Dry her tears. Hold her close. Give her hope for a better tomorrow. And thank you that You care about her pain. Remind her that she is not alone. You are with her. In the name of Jesus. Amen.