September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. The 10th was World Suicide Prevention Day. The rest of this month I will continue to dedicate my blogs to this topic.
Suicide is a terrible tragedy with far-reaching ripple effects. Suicides are happening with greater and greater frequency, especially among teens and young adults. According to the crisistextline.com:
- Every 28 seconds, someone attempts suicide.
- Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for people aged 15-24.
Another site, chapterland.org, states: 129 Americans died by suicide every day. 90% had a diagnosable mental health condition at the time of their death. And a staggering 1.4 million attempted suicide. Did you realize suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States? No community or socioeconomic group is immune. When someone takes their life, family and friends are overcome with grief and sorrow, anger and shame. That may be your family or someone you know.
Questions are left unanswered. Their grief is complicated and unresolved.
The person who ended their life ended their suffering, but their loved one’s suffering may never end.
Why? the person chose suicide is the biggest question. Many times no letter of explanation is left to offer comfort or resolution. No one will ever know, this side of heaven, what caused them to make their decision.
Another complicated question for those left behind is, “What will happen to their eternal soul? Did they go to heaven or not?”
Where are answers to be found for Christians asking this difficult question?
No Clear Answers
Sadly, there are no clear-cut answers: Is suicide a sin? Will the person go to hell? Ask ten people and you’ll most likely get ten different answers: Protestant, Catholic, Jew, or Orthodox. According to my research, the Bible is silent either way: it neither condemns nor condones suicide, although the Scriptures clearly don’t approve. Only God knows for sure, therefore, we need to leave the answers up to Him, trusting in His fairness, compassion, and kindness.
One thing I do know–unless we have been in their shoes, we can’t possibly understand the deep, overwhelming darkness and hopelessness of the person who suffers with suicidal thoughts. For many (90%), mental illness was a complicating factor. And what if their judgement was impaired by drugs or alcohol? What then? Suicide leaves loved ones with a heavy burden to bear.
What does God say? For a Christian, this is what really matters.
Helpful Resources
I’m not a theologian or a Bible scholar, so instead of attempting to give answers, allow me to direct you to a helpful book that does a good job. It comes highly recommended by a counselor friend who specializes in suicide loss. She has personal experience with the subject–her husband died by suicide.
When You Lose Someone You Love by Richard Crome, D.D., Ph.D. He deals with grief in general and offers an excellent explanation for frequently asked questions. Chapter 12 deals specifically with suicide.
Four other books that help with understanding and processing a suicide are:
No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One, by Carla Fine (a secular book; often recommended by Police departments)
Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One’s Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope, by Albert Hsu (a faith-based book; his father died by suicide)
Finding Your Way After the Suicide of Someone You Love, by Biebel, DMin. and Foster, MA (Biebel does a good job with hard questions as one with a doctor of ministry degree–see chapter 9)
Night Falls Fast, by Kay Redfield Jamison is a secular in-depth book that helps the reader understand the suicidal mind, recognize and come to the aid of those at risk, and comprehend the profound effects on those left behind. This should be read by parents, counselors, educators, or anyone wanting to better understand suicide. Jamison has bipolar disorder and has struggled with suicide. She speaks around the country as a renowned expert. I got to hear her at a local university.
You can read portions of these books on Amazon to help you decide which one is best for you.
More Help
If you’re dealing with the suicide of someone you loved and cared about, may God uphold you and comfort you. I’m so very sorry. This is
an incredibly painful loss; a brutally difficult path to walk. The books I listed here will aid in your healing journey.
Please hold on to the hope that one day you can recover. Support groups can be instrumental in your healing, too. Call your local hospital to inquire or 211. They help people connect with social services they need in their area.
If you have no one to turn to and need to talk to someone today, or if you know someone you suspect is considering taking their life, please call this toll free number. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Trained volunteers are available 365 days a year 24/7. If your loved one won’t call, then you can call and receive invaluable guidance for yourself. A caring person will always be there to help you.
Comfort from God’s Word
A comforting Bible verse I like is:
O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief (Psalm 143:1).
May God come to your relief today. Amen.
I so appreciate you helpful understanding & resources in this area. Also to send to our friends who are recently struggling with the death of their friend & teacher of their kids. Thanks & the Lord bless you in this crucial ministry.