A Book to Help When You Care About Someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder

by | Jun 4, 2014 | Helpful Resources

Borderline Personality Disorder. Has your son or daughter been diagnosed with this brain disorder or have you wondered if this is the explanation for what is going on with them?  Have you felt at a loss for how to cope – how to help? Have you struggled to get your own life back? This book can help.

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger. The subtitle is: Taking your life back when someone you care about hasdespair Borderline Personality Disorder. The title describes exactly what it feels like, doesn’t isn’t it? I think it’s the same with any mental health issue.

If these describe your situation, then this book is for you:

  • You feel anything you say or do will be twisted against you.
  • You find yourself concealing thoughts and feelings to avoid horrible arguments.
  • You’re often the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages, alternating with period of when they act normal and loving.
  • You feel manipulated, controlled or lied to.
  • You feel as if someone alternately views you as all good or all bad.
  • Does no one believe you when you explain what is going on?

If you can answer yes to any of these, then your son or daughter may have BPD. This is a comprehensive and supportive self-help guide for family and friends. It will help them, as well as the individual, understand this self-destructive disorder and learn how they cope and take care of themselves.

The book is divided into three sections with an Appendix. They are:

I.    Understanding BPD Behavior ( I’m mentioning a few of the chapters are listed under each)

The Inner World of the Borderline: Defining BPD

Makes Sense out of Chaos: Understanding BPD

II.  Taking Back Control of Your Life

Making Changes Within Yourself

Understanding Your Situation: Setting Boundaries, and Developing Skills

Developing a Safety Plan

 III. Resolving Special Issues

Waiting for the Next Shoe to Drop: Your Borderline Child

Lies, Rumors, and Accusations: Distortion Campaigns


Causes and Treatment



This book has been a great help to each parent I have recommended it to. They have felt supported and informed to cope better with a difficult situation with their child. The authors really do “get it”. On page 241 it reads, ” . . . you may feel deeply hurt and frustrated by their behavior. Much of your life may have been spent in a seemingly fruitless effort to win their love. . .”

It is challenging and difficult, but there is always hope. They need love like everyone else. “Love your child: hate the disorder.” (p. 207)

For more information about raising a borderline child:

Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family or Yourself, by K. Winkler.

Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger.

My prayer for you:

God, please use this book to help each parent who reads it with the information and coping skills they need. Show them how to keep loving even though they’ve been deeply wounded. Renew their hope when all looks hopeless. Uplift, empower, strengthen and encourage.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.