photo cred. Dena Yohe

How can you stay emotionally healthy when your child is troubled? I tried everything I could think of to save my troubled daughter with little success. Feeling inadequate, one day I realized I wasn’t helpless. There were actions I could take—not for her, but for me…for my own emotional well-being.

6 Ways to Stay Emotionally Healthy As the Parent of a Troubled Child:

1) Be honest with yourself. No more denying there’s a problem.

2) Find a trusted friend to share with who listens well without judging. They can help you process your emotions as you pour out your heart.

photo cred. google images

3) Talk to a counselor or clergy-person for extra support and guidance. You might only see them one time, but that visit could make a big difference. Click here and here for help finding a therapist in your area.

4) Express your feelings in creative ways through music, art, writing, photography, dance, etc. We need outlets for emotions we keep bottled up inside.

5) Communicate with God. Surrender your worries and sadness to Him in prayer. Ask for courage and His healing touch. Go outside and look up at the sky. Clouds and stars have a way of uplifting a weary heart. Let nature’s beauty help you connect with your Maker.

6) Turn to the Bible. God will use His Word to comfort, encourage, and strengthen your soul.

Don’t have a Bible? Go here to read online. Choose the translation you prefer. Don’t know what to read? Click here for daily devotional readings you might like. Or you could sign up for my encouraging email messages. Click here for this FREE subscription.

The Bible says, When I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strength I need (Psalm 138:3).

This has been my experience. I hope it will be yours too.

An Insightful Analogy 

I was a mess. My daughter was living on the streets, sleeping in parks and friend’s cars. She was losing her battle with addiction, mental illness, and self-injury. Angry and grief-stricken, embarrassed and guilt-ridden, my heart was crushed. Nervous anxiety, insomnia, and a loss of appetite revealed how much the stress affected me. Over time my emotional health began to decline. Clueless, I had no idea how to cope.

photo cred. annie spratt on unsplash

One day I heard someone say our heart is like a garden. Following that insightful analogy, mine was full of weeds and thorns. Major work needed to be done to keep my heart-garden from having the life choked out of it. If I neglected my well-being any longer, nothing healthy would remain.

Can you relate to this analogy? Is the trauma and stress of having a troubled son or daughter choking the life out of you? Pause a few minutes and take inventory of your heart-garden; your emotional condition. Are weeds running rampant? Are the flowers withering? Step back for a few minutes and do some self-examination. What do you see?

If you feel like I did, you may realize you’ve become emotionally unhealthy. If so, maybe the time has come to rid yourself of what’s killing you. What do you think?

When I’m ready to work in my flower beds, the first thing I do is determine what needs to be done. If I’m not sure, I call a professional for expert help. They assess the situation and tell me the remedy.

Weeds in My Heart-Garden

The same is true with our hearts. These are a few weeds I identified in mine:

• Fear and worry
• Anger
• Bitterness and Resentment
• Unforgiveness
• Isolation
• Depression
• Self-absorption and self-pity
• Cynicism

You’re Going to be Okay

Do you recognize any of these in yourself? When you do you are improving your “emotional intelligence” (EI). What is that? “Emotional intelligence, emotional leadership (EL), emotional quotient (EQ) and emotional intelligence quotient (EIQ), is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goal(s).” (Wikipedia)

When you begin to see yoursellf more clearly you may be discouraged, but please don’t despair. With proper care you’re going to be okay. Your heart-garden can be revived.

Left unattended, weeds will gradually take over any lawn or garden. As soon as you see those unwelcomed plants starting to spread, that’s a warning sign. Get busy and take action right away before they run rampant causing more damage. The longer you wait, the more their roots will branch out, the more work will be required, and the more difficult the job will be rid of them.

Neglect and procrastination only makes things worse—with gardens and with hearts.

Dear friend, please don’t delay. Take an authentic, honest inventory of your heart today. Look closely at my list above and ask yourself this probing question: Are any of these becoming a problem for me?  Have they taken root, choking out my well-being and emotional health? Are there other “weeds” in my heart-garden I’ve neglected to deal with? Am I ready to do something about it?

A Prayer For You

photo cred. Erda Estremera on unsplash

When you’re ready, I encourage you to make this your prayer:

Master Gardner, thank you for caring about the condition of my heart. I’m beginning to see how damaged my emotional well-being has become. Some days my emotional intelligence is complete ignorance, or maybe it’s denial. I need you to give me courage and determination to do the hard work of weeding my inner garden. Please come quickly to help me. I’m not strong enough to do this on my own. In Your mighty name. Amen.

Recommended Book:

Take Back Your Life by Arterburn and Stoop

**What do you think? What helps you tend to the condition of your heart? How aware are you of your Emotional Intelligence? I’d love to hear from you!