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Communication is essential when your child struggles with mental illness. You may wonder what you can say that will have an impact. You may feel like you are walking on eggshells.

“As your kids grow, they may forget what you said,

but won’t forget how you made them feel.”

~ Kevin Heath                     

Welcome this week’s guest blogger Cathy Taughinbaugh*.

5 Things You can Say

Your words can build self-esteem. Here are 5 statements you can make when your child is struggling.

1. “I love you.”

We can change up these three little words in a variety of ways. Anyway you say it, the basic “I love you” gets the message across at this critical time with no confusion.

I use every opportunity these days to add those three simple words at the end of every goodbye. No matter what our age or our situation, we can never hear it enough. When you’re going through a rough patch, you need to hear “I love you” more than ever.

2. “I want to be a positive support.”

While you may not have experienced their exact mental health issue, let your child know you want to help. Your child needs you now more than ever.

By taking the time to understand and learn about their condition, you become a source of help and guidance. Your child will know that they can count on you.

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3. “How can I help?”

Offering to help is the greatest gift you can give your child. One caution is not to give money if you feel it will be used in an unhealthy way.

Help can come in a variety of other forms. It is a question that gives your child the opportunity to consider what would be the most beneficial.

Think of ways you can help that will give your child the chance to get the assistance they need.

4. “I respect you.”

As your child struggles to make better choices, they need your love and respect. Everyone knows that the decisions they made were not always good ones. Yet, you can appreciate their effort to live a healthy life. It isn’t easy to manage a mental illness.

Each morning, your child renews their decision about moving about what path he will take that day. Accepting and doing the work to manage their illness merits our respect. You can help your child appreciate themselves once again.

5. “Don’t forget, you were meant to shine.”
   

   Photo by Patrick Selin on unsplash

I like the idea of reminding our kids that there is a greater purpose in their lives waiting for them. People can often feel they are “less than” because they have a mental illness.

Fear of the unknown can be what holds them back. When they peel back the layers, they too can find their greatness and shine. There are many who are living full healthy lives while managing a mental illness.

While your child many face difficult challenges, they can go on to be their best selves.

Recommended Resources (from Dena and Tom):

Websites: The National Alliance on Mental Illness – nami.org 

Fresh Hope – freshhope.us (faith-based)

Books: Stop Walking on Eggshells by Mason and Kreger  (all three of these books are all listed on our website)

Facing Bipolar by Federman and Thompson

Hope Prevails by Dr. Michelle Bengtson

*Meet Cathy Taughinbaugh: As a result of her journey with her own child’s drug use, Cathy, a former educator, founded CathyTaughinbaugh.com. She became a certified parent coach in order to help other parents who are struggling because of their child’s substance use.

In her private practice, Cathy uses a science-based program backed by 40 years of clinical research. She uses these evidence-based methods to empower parents to motivate their teen or young adult child who struggles with alcohol or drug use to seek change. The outreach that Cathy has created provides a forum for those that need support to care for themselves or their loved ones.