photo cred. Stefano Pollio on unsplash

Life is full of waiting. Let’s be honest, waiting is hard–especially when you are the parent of a troubled teen or adult. It’s hard because there’s a problem they’re powerless over and you have no idea how the situation will end. The problem might be with one of these: alcohol or drugs, their mental health, suicide attempts, pornography, an eating disorder or some other form of self harm, gender identity, incarceration, an abusive relationship or estrangement for an unknown reason. Delays of their recovery discourage the strongest person. Doubts arise. Will your relationship ever be restored? Will they overcome and survive? They’re trapped in an unhealthy place. Stuck. Maybe you are too. I was. The waiting and not knowing took a toll on me. I was a mess. I had to learn how to wait well. These 7 tips helped me when waiting was hard.

7 Tips to Wait Well:

1. Be more focused on God. Fill your mind with promises from his Word. (we listed 33 in the back of our Parent Notebook)
2. Give thanks for who God is and what he can do. Keeping a gratitude journal can help.
3. Continue to live your life. Be active with work, friends, hobbies, and your faith community. Find a way to serve and help others.
4. Take one day at a time; live in the present, not obsessed with the past or dreading the future
5. Get someone else’s perspective. Talk to a counselor, clergy or a caring friend. Join a support group. We also list others on our website.
6. Keep the big picture in mind. God wants to develop something in you.
7. Remember God’s goodness and lovingkindness for you and your child.

We’re All Waiting

We all have plenty of opportunities to wait. Life will always be full of them. How many times have you waited for something or someone? Recently, I waited in line at the DMV for a replacement driver’s license and sticker tag for my license plate. On the way, I had to wait for traffic lights to change at intersections. I had to wait on slower drivers ahead of me or for a pedestrian to cross the street. Once I got there, I had to wait even longer for my turn. My husband often has to wait for me to be ready to go somewhere with him. After 46 years of marriage, he’s developed some good waiting skills.

As we have grown and matureed, we have to wait for these: becoming a teenager then an adult, getting a driver’s license, dating, graduations, engagements and weddings, having children then grandchild, our first job, pursuing a career, and for vacations, to name a few.

Both good and not-so-good occasions have to be waited for: a medical report; the verdict from a court hearing; the outcome of a difficult conversation; if a marriage will end in divorce; on the phone with a business or the result of a hard decision that involves your well-being. Hospitals and doctor’s offices have “waiting” rooms. And sometimes, life has us in a waiting room where there’s nothing we can do about a situation.

How well do you wait?

Not only is waiting a regular occurrence, but it’s part of our spiritual life because waiting presents us with the challenge to learn how to wait well.

Here we are, parents or grandparents, in God’s waiting room praying for our loved one to be ready to ask for and accept help; to admit they have a need they can’t solve, or be restored to us.

Two Ways to Wait

photo cred. Jametlene Reskp on unsplash

While waiting is a daunting challenge, stop and ask yourself “what are the consequences of me not waiting or not waiting well?” Is God trying to teach me something? I believe he wants us to wait in two ways: with patience and expectation. This means we trust his timing as we anticipate his work in our lives and in our children. Waiting gives us opportunities to develop this character quality of patience. Then patience does it’s good work by reminding us who is ultimately in control… God not us.

If we wait these two ways, with patience and expectation, we grow in faith and trust. But dear friend, it’s okay to tell God you’re exhausted and don’t like waiting. He understands how difficult your path has been. He’s seen it all. You can be real with him.

While you wait, will you trust him, even though it’s hard and you don’t like it? Which one of my 7 tips do you need most? I encourage you to write it down and ask God to help you put it into practice.

A word from the Bible about waiting and a prayer:

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for (trust in) the Lord (Ps. 27:14).

Dear God, I don’t like to wait. I’m struggling with the almost unbearable delays. I’ve been on this journey for a long time. Every day it’s getting harder. Please help me trust you more that I might wait well. I’ve come into your presence to listen for your still, small voice. I’m  ready to learn. I want to be strong and take heart, but I don’t know how. I need you to give me patient endurance because I don’t have any. It’s all gone. Here I am, Lord, looking to you with expectation and hope. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Resource

Waiting is one of the sessions in our support group Facilitator Guide. We can help you or your church start a support group. A FREE SAMPLE of our material is available from our website. Scroll to the end of the list of states to fill out the form. The sample will immediately be downloaded into your device.

**from the archives